What Sets Great Mentors Apart From Others?

One of the single most humbling moments for an individual is when he or she is asked to mentor another. Not only is it an honor to be recognized for your acumen, wisdom, and knowledge, but it’s an enormous compliment to have someone desire to follow your lead and learn from your journey of success.

Of course, in addition to feeling honored and well-respected by this show of appreciation, it’s also normal to feel a bit unsure of yourself in the role of mentor. Your first instinct may be to turn-down the request and refer the potential mentee to someone you feel is better suited. But, wait! This person came to you to learn from your example. You have that certain something this mentee desires, so don’t miss out on this opportunity of growth for both you and the mentee.

The good news is that you have all the qualities within you to guide and teach someone. These are the very qualities which earned you your success as a leader. As you’ve motivated your team members, individually and as a group, in the direction of success, so can you help to shape and encourage this dedicated individual. Below are the “Be Attitudes” of great mentors. How many do you have?

Be Patient

Mentoring is a lot like parenting. Both are trying, even on the best days. Having to provide feedback and guidance, no matter how constructive, can be difficult. Your mentee may feel distressed initially, and even become disheartened at times. You too, may become frustrated with the slow pace of change when the lessons you try to impart are seemingly not being heard nor practiced.

This is when it’s crucial to practice patience. Individuals learn and absorb in different ways and different paces. Remember to lead by example, be supportive, and encourage growth. Take a moment to pause and redirect the focus for both of you. Your mentorship is not a sprint, it’s a relationship so take the time you and your mentee need.

Be Sensitive

This person came to you to ask for your guidance because he or she saw someone who is successful, compassionate, and approachable. Remember to always practice diplomacy. Be thoughtful when highlighting any weaknesses or shortcomings which need work. Balance criticism with compliments. Be positive and never belittle or shame your mentee.

Be Available

Invest in your relationship. Make sure you are accessible via email, text, and phone. Your mentee may feel vulnerable and maybe a little timid, especially early on in the mentoring process. He or she might need to reach out more frequently in the beginning. That’s not to say you shouldn’t set boundaries as you would with any relationship. However, by giving your mentee ways to reach out, and by replying as soon as you are able, you’re letting this person know you’re all-in.

Be Respectful

Just as you will need to set boundaries with your mentee, so he or she will also have limits. Respect your mentee’s time and availability. Don’t push too hard or force too much on your mentee until he or she feels ready.

Be Flexible

Circumstances change and, sometimes, no matter how much you try, your mentee isn’t ready to pursue certain goals, or go in a new direction. Allow yourself to be flexible and accommodating but watch for too many changes or too much indecision. You may need to take a break and revisit the mentorship after a few weeks of reflection on the part of your mentee and yourself.

Be Concerned

Should your mentee begin to show a lack of interest or difficulty in completing assigned tasks, show empathy for what may be happening in his or her life. A true mentor can’t fulfill the role without concern for all aspects of the mentee’s life. You aren’t prying or being nosey. As a mentor, you must be non-judgmental, authentic, and genuinely invested. As John Maxwell reminds us all, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Be a Good Listener

Listening is one of the most important qualities of a great mentor. Being able to be present and completely engaged with team members has served you well as a leader. Listening earns respect, develops trust, and instills confidence. As a good listener, you learn to hear beyond what’s being said. Body language, inflection, facial expressions, tone, often times say more say than the words being spoken.

Give your mentee your full and undivided attention. If you aren’t able to do so at that particular time, schedule an ideal time, but don’t wait too long. Listening to your mentee helps both of you. He or she may need a sounding board to help sort things out, or some sound advice from someone they respect and trust. You can learn where your mentee is coming from and what challenges he or she may be facing in their endeavors. Practice being a good listener in your mentorship and it’s a win-win for both of you.

Be Knowledgeable

Find out what your mentee needs from you and if you’re not already an expert, become one. Many mentors will tell you they have grown as much, if not more, as a result of the relationship. Use the opportunity to be an example to your mentee of a leader who never stops learning. You already know this is a cornerstone of your success.

Be Confident

Be confident in what you know, but don’t be arrogant. Remain humble, approachable, and eager to help. As a mentor, you have the knowledge and understanding your mentee does not. Be confident and generous enough to share your experience and wisdom.

Be Persistent

There will be times when you, or your mentee, feel like giving up. These are the times when it’s essential to the success of the relationship to stay the course and remain persistent as you move toward your mutual goal. If you feel discouraged by the process, take some time to examine why you feel this way, and work to overcome whatever roadblocks you encounter.

Be Trustworthy

Above all else, be someone your mentee can trust. This person sought you out because you are someone he or she admires. Remain just as admirable as you build your relationship. Realize that you will learn things about your mentee that perhaps no one else knows. You’ll witness your mentee at some very vulnerable moments. Always honor the trust which has been placed in you and your mentorship will be a success.

Great Mentors Shape Tomorrow’s World

As a successful leader, providing your guidance and imparting wisdom is vital in creating valuable leadership for the future. But, in any relationship of this nature, if it goes on for too long, an unhealthy dependence can develop. When the time comes, ensure that you will always remain in touch, and your mentee can reach out as necessary. But you both must trust your mentee is confident enough to chart his or her own course.

Mentoring another person can be a meaningful experience in your career and your life. A great mentor is necessary to building strong future leaders. Stay open to the idea of mentoring those who aspire to be confident, successful, and admired leaders themselves and you will be creating a better tomorrow for all.