10 Mistakes Successful People Never Repeat
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hil
If you check the dictionary for a definition of mistake, you will find the following: “to understand something or someone incorrectly; to make a wrong judgment; to misidentify someone or something.”
If you live long enough, you will most likely make mistakes. We all do, but why is it that some people bounce back from mistakes and others stay stuck in a rut? Why are some people better at learning from mistakes than others?
Well, it turns out that is just a matter of choice. Some studies have shown that
Tweet ThisNo one likes to make mistakes. Mistakes can drag you down, keep you stuck in fear, and impede your path to success. Dr. Henry Cloud, Clinical Psychologist and author of Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again, discovered certain “awakenings” that people have in life and business and that once they have them, they never go back to the old way of doing things. You’re likely to recognize a few, if not all, of these missteps. Review these ten instances and learn how not to repeat them ever again.
Trying Again What Hasn’t Worked Before
The definition of insanity, per Albert Einstein, is doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results. Isn’t it frustrating to repeat the process you believe will work, only to be disappointed by the lack of results over and over again? If you continually fall back on the same routine, in spite of the fact that it hasn’t worked to propel you along toward your goal, let go of it. It might seem wrong, counter-intuitive, and even painful to let go of a practice you believe in so strongly, but once you apply a new and innovative approach, you may find your results are better and much improved.
Trying to Change Another
As many a disgruntled spouse, partner, or employer can tell you, individuals will not change or alter their behavior until they want to do so. That being said, much like doing the same thing over again and expecting the results to be different at some point, many of us find ourselves nagging, pleading, and plotting for others to change their behaviors, only to be disappointed and even crushed by a lack of results. Realize you can’t change someone else, no matter how much you might want to, you can only change the way you respond to them. The upside of this realization, aside from relieving yourself of the stress and strife of attempting to “fix” another, is that you begin to see that change in yourself and become empowered by it.
Denying Your Authentic Self
Altering your true self to win a job, promotion, relationship, or any other opportunity will not work. It’s akin to living a lie. You cannot continue a charade, no matter how much you believe you want that opportunity. If your gut tells you that you’re not true to yourself, move past the opportunity and on to something that aligns with your true nature and your values. It’s not just going to help you achieve your ultimate goal, but you will become happier and more fulfilled when you are the “real you” and isn’t that what true success is all about?
Becoming a People Pleaser
When people like you and what you do, you have a sense of affirmation. It feels good! But, it’s easy to become addicted to the feeling of making others happy can bring. If you are not careful, you can lose your direction, and your purpose can fall by the wayside. Let go of the desire to please everyone, and it’s futile and not possible.
The late, inspirational thought leader, Wayne Dyer encourages us all to “learn to become independent of the good opinion of other people.” Learn to say no, have the courage to take a stance for what you believe, even if it’s unpopular. Remember, an opinion is not fact. It is merely someone else’s view about an issue that is based solely on personal judgment and therefore should not have any impact on your choices.
Failing to See the Role You Play
When you don’t recognize the role you play in your own success, things begin to happen to you. You lose your power and, ultimately, your control over how your goal is achieved and can adopt a victim mentality.
In all aspects of your life, your career, your relationships, and your family realize you do have a significant presence, and you can make things happen for yourself by refusing to see yourself as a victim.
Believing the Grass is Always Greener Elsewhere
Whether or not P. T. Barnum actually said it, there is a sucker born every minute. Believing in someone else’s charade of a perfect life is much like watching a three ring circus. You don’t always know what’s happening, even in front of your own eyes. While lives and careers may appear to be perfect, most people are living their version of your same trials and tribulations. Become judicious about that which seems too good to be true. Do your homework, and you’ll likely find out that it was too good and it isn’t true.
Expecting Instant Gratification
You see this a thousand times a day. Promises to “Lose 10 Pounds in 3 Days” or “Earn Money Instantly” playing to an audience filled with an expectation of immediate results. Unfortunately, if results happen this way they’re usually fleeting. Real success takes careful planning and time. It might be painful to have to wait for results, but the reward you earn for your hard work is much more gratifying and brings lasting results.
Ignoring the Big Picture
There are many small steps involved in achieving your goals, and it’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae. You can lose sight of the bigger picture when you let yourself get lost in, the smaller tasks. Make it a daily practice to pull back and weigh your priorities against your ultimate goal. Know that you may need to change your approach to successfully realize your big picture goals.
Taking Time to Research
As tempting as it may be to jump right into a project without checking the background and doing your homework, avoid this shortcut. You can better map your path to success when you perform due diligence. You’ll also avoid having to scrap a good bit of hard work when your project has been properly vetted.
Listening to Damaging Inner-Dialogues
Believe it or not, success begins inside of you. Don’t let negative thoughts or beliefs about yourself and your abilities prevent you from achieving your dream, no matter what it is. You can do anything you have the talent for and put your mind to. So begin inside yourself. Practice daily motivation, listen to podcasts and read books that promote a positive self-image.
Tying It All Together
In the end, we all make mistakes. And success does not happen by accident. It is something that happens by choice. Successful people think differently, act differently and ultimately distinguish themselves from unsuccessful people by making an intentional choice never to repeat what didn’t work.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Tim Crowley, Ph.D.
Motivational Keynote Speaker, Leadership, and Resilience Expert
Dr. Tim Crowley is a well-known speaker with a passion for growing agile leaders, teams, and organizations that produce extraordinary results. For more than 25 years his services have touched the lives of leaders in some of the most recognizable companies in the world. Including AT&T, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Ernst & Young, Hallmark, Johnson & Johnson, Lockheed Martin, Marriot, Microsoft, Nestle-Purina, along with numerous organizations, universities, state and federal agencies.
When not speaking, leading workshops, and blogging he looks for inspiration through mountain biking, volunteering, and spending time with his family and friends. Invite Tim to speak at your next event. You can learn more about Tim and how his services can help you and your team at drtimcrowley.com. Connect with Tim on LinkedIn, Google+, Facebook, and Twitter.
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